Cycle of Violence

1. Abuse-The abuser lashes out with aggressive, violent & raging behavior.  The abuse is a power play designed to show the victim "who is boss & who is in control"

2. Guilt-After the abusive episode, the abuser feels guilty, but not over what he/she has done to the victim.  The guilt is over the possibility of getting caught & facing consequences.

3.Retaliation & excuses-The abuser rationalizes what he/she has done.  He/she may come up with various excuses or blame the the victim for his/her abusive behavior-he/she may try to shift the responsibility on the victim.  "They may say that it is your fault that I acted this way toward you." or You had it coming to you."

4.Normal Behavior-The abuser does everything he/she can to regain control & keep the victim in the relationship.  He/she may act as if nothing has happened, or turn on the charm.  This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has changed or stop his/her behavior.

5. Fantasy & planning-The abuser begins to fantasize about abusing the victim again, spending a lot of time thinking about what the victim has done and how he/she is going to pay.  Then the abuser makes a plan of how he/she is going to make the fantasy of abuse a reality.

6. Setup-The abuser sets up the victim & puts his/her plan into motion, creating a situation where he/she can justify abusing the victim

This information about the cycle of abuse can be found at: www.helpguide.org/domestic violence

Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Hello ladies, I apologize I have not posted a blog since last December.  I have been so busy with church lately.  I have taken over the youth ministry because there was a need for someone to take it over.  I will be coming back to post information about domestic violence & encouragement to help get you through any difficult situation.  Thank you for stopping by.  I will be adding a post sometime this week.  All be blessed! :-)

What Is Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence is abuse which occurs within a close personal or family relationship and is used as a means of exercising power & control over another person.  Acts of domestic violence or battering cause not only physical injury, but also the loss of trust, loss of personal safety in one's home, and loss of control over one's own life.


Abuse Is:


Physical-slapping, punching, hitting with objects, kicking and choking

Emotional/Psychological-name calling, humiliating, silent treatment, making you feel like everything is your fault, yelling/screaming at you & threats of harm or death

Sexual-sexual gestures/remarks, unwanted touching, rape

Financial-restricted access to financial resources, property and/or money taken without consent

Neglect-abandonment, isolation from friends or family, failure to provide for your needs, (food, clothing, shelter), withholding medication and assistive devices.

IF THERE IS VIOLENCE IN YOUR HOME, YOU ARE NOT ALONE

YOU HAVE CHOICES

For help, contact the Domestic Violence Hot line: 1-800-799-7233

Proverbs 3:23-26,

"Then you will go safely on your way; your foot will not stumble.  When you lie down, and your sleep will be pleasant.  Don't fear sudden danger or the ruin of the wicked when it comes, for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from a snare."

May God's Peace Be Among You Today & Forever!

A Tribute To My Friend Mrs. Christine

Hello everyone, I just wanted to tell you just prior to Christmas, I happened to call the domestic violence shelter the other day to say Merry Christmas to the staff and the director told me that my mentor, counselor had passed away around Thanksgiving.  I didn't know anything about it.  I was so devastated.  It really hurt me to my core.  She had cancer & became aware of the cancer a year or so ago.  I just want to pay a tribute to her life and the work that she so strongly believed in.  She has helped so many women of domestic violence get out of their situation and stay out of those situations.  God put her into my life.  She would take us places and do things with us ladies.  We always had to go to group and get counseling.  She always gave us information about domestic violence and taking our power back.  She will be greatly missed.  She even came to my church sometimes.  She cared about so many people.  Rest assured I know one day I will see her again.  Its always good to have someone in your life to help you along the way.  Treasure those people in your life and never take them for granted.  All be blessed! :-)

Good Morning, Hope Everyone Had A Great Christmas!

Good Morning,

I hope that everyone had a wonderful time with family & friends.  I hope you received everything that you wished for Christmas.  I had a great time.  Thanks to my parents for my lovely gift.  My daughter made me a craft that says "HOPE", that she painted by hand.  I have to find a small picture of her to put in the frame.  Those kind of gifts from your children are special and will always be treasured.

Safe Haven For Women Who Need Encouragement

Hello,

My name is Cheryl.  I am a victim of domestic violence.  I am creating this blog for the sole purpose of having a safe place where women like myself can express their feelings and issues.  You don't have to give your real name.  As women of domestic violence we often need a place to vent our feelings to one another to encourage or build each other up.  I am a Christian and I believe that God has something better in store for you.  He wants the best for you.  If you are in a abusive relationship, you need to get out and find a safe place.  I am blogging based on my own experiences.  I hope it will be an encouragement for you.  Thanks for stopping by.  God Bless Always!